[the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. "Pass the salt, Edward." All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. I mean the guy's a feeb. There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Newsflash, Eddie! I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. [walks into the bathroom]. That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. I just got a job! A small gastronomic goof up. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. It's late. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. What are you? The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Carl: What? Eddo. Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Dadadadada! Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Mont gio sam eea!". Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. A few minutes ago, I just saw Laura and I fanted. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Just blacked out for a second there! No more chimes. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Steve Urkel: Yes! That's one for the books! Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? One minute, "Moo!" You're standing on my finger! I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. I'm in this class. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. "Take out the trash, Edward." Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. She just slipped and I caught her. 2023. THIS? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Carl Otis Winslow: I know. Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Anywhere away from my Laura. Mango? Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? White . The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. There's no justification for this behavior! Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! I'm being born! Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. I just caught her, that's all. Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Estelle Winslow: Carl! Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? The Nineties. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Steve Urkel. Cassie Lynn: Try me. Stupid? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? You'll never know how much time you'll have together. So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? You know that? Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. More like The Repulsions. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! 6. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? You see, I use verbs. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. [crying], Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. Second question. [laughs]. Steve Urkel: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Wha? Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? The truth is you deserve a kiss. [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. "I heard you are looking for a stud. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. No phones. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? I'm here. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. But, I'd be willing to pay you. Laura, please. We're having big fun here. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Stop the music! Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! then removes his hand]. Do these guys have game? No! Carl: Uh-oh. I wish I'd never done it. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. He's never used his! Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. I will not give you a lock of my hair. Have you taken leave of your senses? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Laura: How long have we known each other? She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Harriette: Soon, baby. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. And I like the Red Sox. Mucus comes in so many colors. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Laura: Wait a second. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? People just love juicy gossip! Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Nobody threatens my woman! I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. Harriette: What for? SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. I can't breathe! It's not funny, it's dangerous. What bright side, Weasel? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. [Laura has stuffed her bra with Eddie's socks], Steve Urkel: [entering] Hi gang! I love ya too much to build you a dud! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. An illustration of a person's head and chest. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir.
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